Yo dont text me then not text me
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
