i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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