so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
