Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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