Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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