yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
