My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Randomize
