Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize