Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
