You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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