her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
