Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
