I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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