In the future we'll all be gay
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
