He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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