Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
