Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Randomize
