So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize