We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
