Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
