as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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