I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize