Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
