Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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