So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
