I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
