my vag is so smooth its legendary
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
