I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Did I show you my penis last night?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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