I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize