Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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