I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
