you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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