I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
