drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
How does one acquire holy water?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
