"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
