How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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