think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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