I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
