Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
