Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
