WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
