People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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