All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
