We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
