brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
