Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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