i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
