Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
