She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize