Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
