who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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