Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I'm at about main and main street
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
