i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
