i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
