My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize