I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
and she was petting her beer can
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize