Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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