So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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