hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
