Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize