addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
