You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
And the cops told us we were all naked.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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