im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
