you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
