I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
