Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
